Snake's Blog

Or lack of one as the case may be. Hardly played any Poker at all recently as I have had to spend what was left of my roll on life schizz. With the missus not working, ok I will rephrase that incase Mair is reading, with the missus staying at home to look after the children, and the current economic climate things are getting tough financially. I suppose they are not too bad as we have just had a lovely holiday in the Lake District and we live a good life compared to some more unfortunate folk, but you have to prioritise and cut your financial cloth accordingly, so the Pokes has to go temporarily.

Got a little bit left to donk around in a few Tournies in the RTR $5 syndicate we have got going on the forum but other than that no Pokes for the Snake for a few months. I cannot moan though, I was speaking to the fish that is BurnleyMik on the phone earlier on today and was moaning to him how bad I run at life etc etc blah blah but we discussed what I have got out of Poker over the last few years. The answer was a new kitchen, new windows for the house and a holiday, not too shabby for a donk who has a bit of a hobby.

Speaking of BurnleyFish, or Max from Phoenix Nights as he is known to his close pals, the geezer is on fire at the moment. Here is his latest post about his May profits, not bad eh?

Here is a picture of the Great Man himself to put on your bed side table.



Anyway, got to bug out, crime don't crack itself.

Laters

两点 (Topical language)

*Warning, long post



Raise The River Team that attended the Newcastle Poker Forum Event this last weekend. Back row left to right, Me, Yorkie Pud, Mr Origami, Tripz, DoV, front row left to right, Rubbish/Please to meet you, HammerHeid, BM, NoShoes, dD.

Right, here we go. I was supposed to travel up with dD who was coming up the A1 but was running a bit late, so I got a call from BM who said he was near Leeds and would do a 180 degree turn and collect me. I think he had an ulterior motive that was trying to peek at my missus's Eartha Kits, so I countered this by waiting at the end of the road for him.

We left my village at about 10.40am and made good progress, landing at the Hotel at about 12.30ish. The other lads had also just arrived, after initially going to the wrong Hotel. When at the wrong Hotel Pud and NoShoes saw some geezers going on the lash in fancy dress. Two fat blokes were dressed in Borat Mankinis and there was a bloke who was a dwarf covered in blue and dressed as a Smurf. I would have pissed my self laughing if I had seen this!!

We jumped a Mini Bus to the G Casino, had a few swifties, then it was down to the pokes. I had a couple of guys on my table that I know are pretty decent players, and also had some pissed up sweaty sock who was the table fish. He was in every pot from the off and was chucking in chips left, right and centre. He got lucky a couple of times and built up a bit of a stack, so I targeted him as the chip donator.

I didn't really play a hand until level 4. I've got about 7000 from starting stack of 7500, blinds at 100/200, fish limps UTG, 2 callers and I look down at ladies so pop it upto 1100. Fish calls, 2 folds and the flop comes Ah4h9x, fish looks over at me, smiles, then shoves his stack of about 9k in the middle. I tank for ages trying to think of a hand he would play like this and can only put him on a heart fd or pocket neufs so make the fold, he showed 99 so I was pleased with the fold.

I had to fold QQ again when I 3 bet one of the better players and he flatted from the CO, flop came AKx and he lead 3/4 pot, with my stack my only options were shove or fold and I didn't think he would lead with anything worse than AJ+, . My exit hand was pretty standard against the pissed up fish, blinds are 150/300, it's folded to me on the button with TT and 5k stack, raise to 800, he insta 3 bets to 2k(which he did loads of times and showed schizz like KJo, T9 and such) so I tank thinking I am miles ahead of his range, shove it all in only to be snapped off with AA LOL. GG me!! As a forum we were pants and had no one coming back for day 2 ffs. Dream of Vegas got deepest for us, winning the £10 last longer bet.

Ended up having loads of beers then decided to play blackjack as the dealer was called Phoebe and was fit as a butchers. Won about £70 then moved onto the £1/£1 cash table, bought in for £100. Unfortunately Mr Mayagi was not on it but there was one older geezer who was bladdered. The first hand i noted him play he was UTG and open raised to £16, yes £16. He got one caller and the flop came Q62. He check raised and the other dude folded. The bloke then stated 'I never raise with nothing' then flipped over Q6 lol. Ended up £90 ish up after winning a few pots, one with a set and the other with AK which flopped Broadway :)

Loads more beer later and I am now regged for the £15/£15 rebuy or add on. Play pretty good pissed up pokes and end up chopping it up 4 ways at 6.30am with me taking $370 and the others £300. I was chip leader by a bit when we did the deal so I was pretty generous but I was absolutely bladdered and also proper knackered. I definitely had 15+ beers, probably closer to 20.

Got up about 11 ish, Mik and Pudster fucked off as they are both under the thumb, so me, dD, Mr O, NoShoes, Rubbish and my roomie DoV went to the boozer next to the hotel and shifted a few pints. We then jumped a cab to the Toon and settle in a bar called 'Players' to watch Chelski vs Liverpool. After consoling Mr O we then had some munch at McTuckyKing, then went back to the G. Fooked about a bit on Blackjack and roulette then regged for the £10 FO/£10 bounty. Never quite got going in this and busted with AQ vs KJ. Congrats to Rubbish who took 4th for £60 plus bounties.

The rest of us went back into The Toon and hit the same bar as before. We sat outside and just drank/stared at the birds. There was some proper fit ones but also loads of munters, pretty much standard but was a good laugh. I hit the wall about 1 ish after my mammoth session the previous day so fooked off back to the Hotel on my jacks, leaving the other boys on the lash.

DoV staggered in at 6.36am on the dot, I know this as the loud twat took great delight in waking me up with his exceedingly loud pissed up snoring!! About an hour later and I am dozing when all of a sudded DoV leaps out of bed and heads towards the bog for what I can only presume is a piss. The only thing is he completely misses the door and walks head first into the wall, ending up on his arse. PMSL!!

Me and dD set off about 10.30ish, uneventful trip home. Bit of a result for me, ended up in profit to the tune of £320, weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Great to meet Rubbish, Tripz and Mr O, quality blokes, all the other RTR fish I have met before, all great lads. Really enjoyed the weekend and the company, can't wait for the next meet up. Nice to see Mair, Stan, Mike and Lou, Card Gaurd Kid and Team Dobbs amongst others, all lovely people!! If you haven't been on one of these, or an APAT event, you are missing out big style.


Gl at the tables

Il Serpente

Just a quick update, going to Newcastle this weekend with Raise The River to play in the Newcastle Poker Forum Team Event. Going to be a cracking weekend with the lads, 2 of which are shown above, left is Mik the right is Pud.

Full trip report early next week. Going to be good to see some of the other Bloggers representing other Forums, come over and have a beer!!

Took my roll offline the other day for several reasons. Firstly, to preserve the roll as the beats were redik. I began to tilt stacks off and ended up playing weak/passive which is not my game. Secondly, to preserve my sanity as emotionally it was really hard. Working all day then grinding at night only to suffer the two outer river specials, we have all been there, you know what I am saying. Thirdly, I run bad at life. I have got some family issues I need to resolve that take precedence over online poker.

I will have a break from da cash for a couple of months, but I will still play in the Bloggerment if I am not working, I played in it last Sunday as well as Mair's Charity game and really enjoyed myself. The only annoying thing was BurnleyFish constantly 3 betting my azz as he was sat on my left. It was a case of 'I know he is 3 betting me light but he knows I am opening light'. I decided to 4 bet shove him with JTs only for Mik to insta-snap me off with AK lol. Played about 6 of the new $4.40 135 peep sng's on FT the other day, shipping one for $150 and change, good fun and over quickly. I may play a few of these for a laugh during my cash sabbatical.

Going to Newcastle in just over a week for the NPF Forum Team event with the Raise The River geezers, can't wait it will be a good laugh and looking forward to a few beers with the lads!

Enjoy your time at the tables and crush!!

Το Φίδι

(Greek btw)

Apologies for not updated this schizz blog, no excuses I am a lazy fucker!!

Right, March was an absolute disaster, ended up 8 buy ins under Ev. Negative variance I realise and it will turn around. Not going to moan too much, just going to grind through it. You kinda know you are running bad when AA is only winning 87% and KK 79%.

I have decided to move down to 20nl on Microgaming to absorb this downswong and to protect the BR. Made a decent start to the month, up about 4 buy ins but KK is again running so bad. Got it 3 times in one session and lost all 3. AIPF vs AA, standard. AI on a flop of T83 vs 99, turn J river 7 fml. Other was versus QJ who called my raise OOP, then c/c 2 streets on a Qxxx brd, river was a queen so I check behind to go with my read.

There is a few decent players at 20nl but overall the standard is shocking. Wish me luck and hopefully I can run better and move back up soon.

Enough of Poker, I have played at the same Rugby Club for 22 years, I will not name the Club for fear of identification but we are still the most promoted club in the history of the League system in England, currently in the Championship, one down fron the Premiership. My first team career ended a few years ago but I still turn out for the lower teams when I can.

Anybody who is a member of a Rugby club will testify what a crack it is. I have loads of amusing stories that all involve loads of beer, some degree of nakedness, various animals and occasionally women.

One of the best gags is when a player gets badly injured and has to undergo an operation, other team members make a competition out of who can give the best 'joke' present.

Several years ago I smashed my cheek bone and have to have it rewired. When I was recovering in Hospital I could only drink through a straw. What did the first lad to visit me bring? A huge box of rock hard toffee.

Well, yesterday I had a phone call from the main ring leader of this game. He was telling me about a former player who injured his leg years ago and has always suffered with it, culminating in a degenerative bone condition that has necessitated in his leg being amputated from the knee down. Pretty horrific you may think, but the one thing is this hasn't come as a shock as he has known for several years that this would eventually happen.

Despite this, one would think that having a leg amputated would mean sympathy from all concerned, including the Rugby lads.

Not in the slightest!! Guess what they gave him as his 'joke' present, a DVD of the 1984 classic starring Kevin Bacon, Footloose!!! Looooooooooooooooooooool, honestly when I heard a little bit of wee came out of the end of my knob :)

Good luck all.

La Serpiente

Wow, the downswong continues. As the title suggests I am going to have a few days off and re-evaluate what I am going to do. I have 2 choices, drop down a level a ride it out, or withdraw what is left of the roll, take a month or so off from online poker, use this time wisely to study the game, the return with a bigger bank roll. Tbh at this time I am not too sure what to do. I will probably drop down and play 20nl as I am a degen, plus If I can get through this negative variance then I can get through anything. One thing is I will be mentally a lot stronger.

I will not bore you with the bad beats, there are far too many, but what astounds me is how bad my premium hands are running. In the last few sessions I have had AA and KK busted 75% of the time. Also QQ isn't too good lol. Got QQ 3 times last session, ran it into AA and KK aipf which is standard, but the hand that tilted me was against a retard who min 3bet my open oop, called the 4bet then made a PSB on a low monotone board, I shoved and he called flipping over AKo for no pair no draw. Obv K on the turn, so sik.

The ironic thing is that my downswong has coincided with me purchasing 'The Poker Mindset' lol, I am going to burn the fooker lol.

Gl everyone, keep attacking

Warning, bad beat post coming up. Just gotta get this shit off my chest.

Standard on the flop against his range.

Fck my life, nice call pf!




Standard 2 outer on the river of doom.




Seriously, I mean calling PF with Q4s, give me a break ffs, then the old runner/runner str8 weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!



Same villian as before, easiest call ever until the river of doom!!




Villian is a decent reg, so when he ships I put him on a FD, obv is hits and I fail to re-suckout.




Sik flop, fml!!



Standard but annoying.



Villian is a huge fish, just look what he calls with PF lol



Its a set again in a 3bet pot!!



Sigh, all these from last 2k hands, online poker rigged imo lol

Seriously, some of these are just redik, some I have played poor, but I have to laugh as the fish calling with schizz like Q4s and K5s will always be +Ev, so I want these guys in the game, just not to keep sucking out on me.

I also really need a break against the regs, they always seem to flop sets vs me in 3Bet pots, c'mon Poker Gods (amen) shine on me please?