Snake's Blog

I had a bit of a disaster yesterday (Jesus, this blog seems to be one endless bad beat story). I was at work and felt the urge to park a family of Otters at the pool. Ordinarily this would be one of the most pleasurable experiences whilst at work, sat there snapping a turd off knowing that I am getting paid for it, but not on this occasion.

Now, I am one of those people who believes that when sat on the crapper, one should have something to entertain themselves with. Normally this is a newspaper, book or some other piece of literature but on this occasion I decided to take my mobile phone to surf the tinterwebz (not for Frankie Vaughan I hasten to add). Placed phone on top of a towel, bent over to pull strides down in preparation for pebble dashing the back of the pan, knocked towel and mobile phone ends up in bottom of pan ffs (pre depth charge bombing).

Reached in to get the bastard thing out but too late, it was fizzing and constantly on vibrate, plus the screen was blank. Dried it off then finished my dump. Now, this is where it gets interesting. I fired the lappy up and did a bit of research, came across this little beauty of a site here. So I get home, place the phone in a sealed container and covered it with uncooked rice. Placed it in the oven with just the light on and left it for 24 hours. Retrieved it today and put it all back together and the fooking thing actually works!!! Lol saved myself some right dollar as it is one of those expensive touch screen mutha fuckers and I ain't got insurance. The only downside is that it has a huge brown skid mark on the screen, but we can't have everything now can we? :)

As this is supposed to be a Poker blog I suppose I better let you know how things are going. Just playing 25nl Rush atm, playing really well but don't want to doomswitch myself so I will post a graph in a few weeks. Putting into place some of the things that I have read in 'Zen and the art of Poker'. It's a good read, I recommend it.

Happy Festive Season and good luck at the cyber felt to all.

Snake

We have finally moved house, but fuck my life it was a mission. Firstly, the money was not transfered over until 4pm on Friday. We were sitting on the drive of the new property for 2 hours, just waiting, and waiting, until eventually we got the call and the geezer handed us the keys.

2 hours to unpack the first load into the garage, 20 mins drive back to the old house, 1 and half hours to pack up the van again, 20 mins drive, 1 hour to unpack, 30mins drive to pick kids up, 30 mins drive to return van, 30 mins back to house, put cot up, shower, change, 25 min drive to work starting at midnight until 7am. [ ] Fun times.

Anyway, we are in and the new house is lovely. There is something about a new build that makes it special. Maybe it is because you know that no one else has rumped in it? Also, little things, like having a lock on the khazi door so no one can enter when I am curling one out, make it sooooo much better.

The next mission is to install a loft arial so the kids can watch CBeebies. Then to get online again. Thinking of going with BT as the waiver the £130 charge for a new line if you get a broadband/phone package with them.

When that is sorted I will start to play some pokes again as I got a load of tournie tickets for stars, then I am gonna grind some cash on Microgaming.

Gl all

Snake

P.S Here is a song you will prolly hear a gazillion times over the next week or so.

Beat one, Missus falls over on ice whilst holding baby. Puts hand down to protect baby, breaks hand.

Beat two, prior to beat one. Missus driving her car, car conks out. Taken into garage, gear box fucked, have a £1000 estimated bill for repair shoved in your eye.

Beat three, completion date for moving is this Friday. As of yesterday the cunts that are Northern Rock state it will take 5 working days to establish the final redemption figure for the mortgage. Wtf!! That means Monday by my calculation.

Brag, spun $30 into $100 on Minted poker in 20 mins pwning a kraut donk HU.

Variance, it's Christmas soon so goodbye 2010

/Rant over

Apologies if this post is utter bollocks but I am blogging via my mobile phone for the first time, so the standard may be shitter than normal.

Anyways, it's 03.38 as I compose this master piece of literature. I have been at work since 10pm and I have suddenly got the urge to blog. I put this down to the fact that it has been a horrendous evening. For those of you who haven't made my accquintance I am a Custody Sergeant with an East Midlands Police Force.
I am the person who sits behind the desk and books you in if you have committed a misdemeanour. Normally I genuinely enjoy my role but tonight I have despised it with a passion.

The reason? One word answer, drunks.

Now don't get me wrong, I like a drink and have been drunk on several occasions, but I am a happy drunk. Give me a kebab when I'm pissed then I could sleep on a chicken's lip.
Tonight though, everybody who has been arrested has been mashed. Not only that they have been abusive, incredibly violent and generally obnoxious. Most have been young males but the worst have been female. One even spat at me ffs. Charming, a load of green lag dripping down my shirt. Sometimes I wonder where it all went wrong in this once great country of ours.

Some good news, hopefully we will be moving house on the 17th. We are buying a property in a quite country village, essentially as we need a bigger garden for the kids. It is a new build so has 3 shitters in it. I will be spoilt for choice lol. The only negative is the nearest boozer is 2 miles away, looks like I will have to acquire a pub bike.

Poker wise I have only played a couple of games, both in the epic that is the RTR North v South HU comp. It's all about game selection baby! I have managed to win both matches 2-0, crushing the southern fish Coggs and Rubbish. Well, Rubbish isn't really a southener but he is Welsh so it's just as bad I suppose.

Right, I'm off to have a dump. Don't you love it when you get paid to drop a family of otters off at the pool!

Be good.

Snake

Greetings a salutations avid reader.

I have registered on a site called 'Bidibot' which is basically a penny auction site that mainly auctions Poker items, such as Stars Tournament tickets, cash credits etc etc. If you register you get 10 free bids and each bid puts the price up by 1c and adds 30 seconds to the clock. I managed to get 20 free bids by putting a code in from Poker Player Magazine and used those bids to win 2 Stars 11 buck tournie tickets and a $22 one also, for the grand total of $2.17, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Seems good value to begin with, also the CEO is John Tabatabai who has posted on a few forums to dispel rumours and myths about Bidibot. Nhwp Sir.

On the forum we have a HU challenge between the North and South. It's going to commence pretty soon. Should be an epic battle, with the banter flowing back and forth. There is a bit of a cash incentive but essentially it will be for bragging rights on the forum. You can read about it here.

Laters fish, gotta to go for a dump then get ready for work. More work related anecdotes coming soon.

Now then faithful reader, I am back and as the title suggests, I am well and truly alive and kicking!!

Got loads of stuff going on at the moment, should be moving house before Christmas,jesus what a grind that fucker is. If I ever come back reincarnated I want to be one of 2 things. Firstly, an Estate agent. Place picture of the house in local paper, make a few telephone calls, collect two grand for your troubles, easy game!!

The other thing I wouldn't mind coming back as is a wasp. Fly around, annoy the fuck out of people, simples.

On the Poker front I've not played much at all online, just been too busy with work/moving etc. On this point I have a cunning plan, that cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a fox. After Christmas/moving house I will have a bit of a roll saved up. I also have plenty of leave left over, so my plan is to take nearly a month off work and play 'full time' so to speak. I have spoke to The War Minister (Missus) about this and she seemed O.K with it. I will devise a rota that I will stick to and hope to play 5/6 hours a day, 6 days a week. 5 days cash and 1 day MTT/MTSNG.

I will also speak to Amatay, Kenn, Longy, Everton Yorkie et al and get any advice I can. What you think loyal reader? Any thoughts/ideas are welcome.

In the world of live Poker I have managed to get my own HendonMob Database entry lol, The Snake is officially the 39th best amateur in the World :).

Also went with the RTR crew to Dublin for the IPO. The Tournament was a non-entity for me, crashing out in the second level. The good news about this was that I got to drink loads of Guinness with Rubbish and Coggs. We were soon joined at the bar by Amatay, Jakattack, NoShoes and Paul then it all went a bit messy tbh. I can't remember a thing :) Remember boys, what goes on tour stays on tour so sshhhhhhh.

Great fun, beers, pokes and meeting new friends like Greekstein, Barry Carter, Neil Channing and Padraig Parkinson. Going to definatley go next year, quality times.

Leave you with a few piccies of the RTR crew at the IPO.


Two beer swilling poker players


Coggs before I owned his soul at cash


My hero Amatay


Jak in the Bounty game


Mr Channing and The Snake

Anyway, this has gone on far too long and is really boring, Amatay, can I have my $50 please?

Or lack of one as the case may be. Hardly played any Poker at all recently as I have had to spend what was left of my roll on life schizz. With the missus not working, ok I will rephrase that incase Mair is reading, with the missus staying at home to look after the children, and the current economic climate things are getting tough financially. I suppose they are not too bad as we have just had a lovely holiday in the Lake District and we live a good life compared to some more unfortunate folk, but you have to prioritise and cut your financial cloth accordingly, so the Pokes has to go temporarily.

Got a little bit left to donk around in a few Tournies in the RTR $5 syndicate we have got going on the forum but other than that no Pokes for the Snake for a few months. I cannot moan though, I was speaking to the fish that is BurnleyMik on the phone earlier on today and was moaning to him how bad I run at life etc etc blah blah but we discussed what I have got out of Poker over the last few years. The answer was a new kitchen, new windows for the house and a holiday, not too shabby for a donk who has a bit of a hobby.

Speaking of BurnleyFish, or Max from Phoenix Nights as he is known to his close pals, the geezer is on fire at the moment. Here is his latest post about his May profits, not bad eh?

Here is a picture of the Great Man himself to put on your bed side table.



Anyway, got to bug out, crime don't crack itself.

Laters

两点 (Topical language)