Wednesday, 23 December 2009


Fuck me, its been a week since I last posted. Been really busy at work, this time of year sees a dramatic increase in my 'clients'. Booze related violence goes through the roof, as does shoplifting.

Infact, I found something out the other day that put me on life tilt. One of my regular 'clients' decided to go into a local supermarket, load his trolley up with groceries then walk straight through the checkout without paying. £247 worth of snap and the cheeky fucker thinks he has a right to take it.

Anyways, when he arrived at the hotel, part of the booking in procedure is to do a risk assessment to establish if there are any health risks that have to be managed. He stated he was on heroin, no suprise, but was also on a methadone script. So his Doctor gives him a drug that is supposed to be a heroin substitute and he uses heroin on top of this. Clearly this is not working! Guess who is paying for this methadone, thats right, you, the honest, hardworking taxpayer.

He then goes on to state he was not unemployed but was registered as sick.

Sick!! So heroin addiction is an illness now is it? Oh, forgot to mention that his state benefits are more each week for being 'sick' than if was legitamately out of work. No prizes for guessing who is funding this 'sick pay'. Plus, I wager he has never even thought about doing a days work let alone actually done one ffs! Life tilt!!

Really fucks me off.

Right, rant over, might have to go to the doctors soon. You see, when I was younger and I shot my baby gravy, I had a right spurt, honestly I could have pasted the walls from 6 foot I tell you. But as I have got older, it kind of resembles a sparrow sneezing. Have I got something wrong with me or am I just getting to the bottom of the 2 buckets that you get?

Pokerwise, not played much, only about 2k hands, upto about $400 in profit plus rake back. Had to miss a sweat session with BurnleyMik as my little girl has taken a turn for the worse again, so I nurse her in the night whilst my missus gets some kip.
Hang on a minute, I am the one with a full time job ffs, something wrong here.

Right, will post before Xmas but gl at the tables people


Wednesday, 16 December 2009


Just a quick update, played nearly 10k hands so far, break even atm ffs!!! Tbh I am very happy with my game I just seem to lose most races, it is just variance. I am continuing with the session analysis using PT3 and have watched Coaching Tree from DC, Balugawhale gives some great advice.

I used to 3bet when IP with suited connectors like JT,QJ but after listening to Baluga I am just calling now as hands like these have so much value post flop as oppose to pre flop.

Gl at the tarbs, gonna try and win some green now.

Friday, 11 December 2009

Happy Days!!

Just a quick update as I am still at work then driving to East Midlands Airport to pick up my Mum and 89 yr old Grandma who are coming over from Portugal for a few days.

Running/playing better after a disastrous start to the month. Played about 6.5k hands this month so far, for me good volume. Only 3 buy ins up but got a rake back payment due today to boost profits. Due to poorly child/body clock screwed I have been up at 4am so I have been playing at this time for a few hours. I have found this has increased my win rate as it is about 11pm in the States so plenty of donks on line lol.

Also, I have been playing a bit more conservative with hands such as AQ from OOP, just flatting as oppose to 3betting to keep the pot small. Seems to be a more profitable way of playing from the blinds with such holdings. Obviously If a donk raises then I will 3bet, but this is very much player dependant.

Also been watching The Coaching Tree, a series on DeucesCracked (thanks Gorv :)). Really good series, I recommend it to you. I have made some adjustments to my game after watching only 2 episodes, seem to be working. One interesting point was to over bet the pot when you know you are in front on the river. You only have to get called on the odd occasion to boost the win rate. This could be exploitable at higher levels but at 50nl it works a treat. It is amazing when you over bet the pot with a set and get called by 2nd pair, some people just do not believe you.

Got to go, sorry for the boring post, more amusing tales next time

Gl at the tables

*Edit-Fuck you Full Tilt, played 400 hands tonight and lost all the profit, lol, negative variance ftw

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Running Like Poo

My first bad beat post, I feel just like BurnleyMik :)

As the title suggests, December has been a pretty frustrating so far. The definaition of variance is the statistical measure of how your results will be dispersed, mine at the moment are being dispersed down the toilet. I just cannot seem to get a hand to hold. QQ seems to be a big loser at the moment, losing to JJ, 53s, 68s. I have also turned the nut flush only for villian to boat up on the river, got it all in with a set vs 2 pair on the flop only for villian to fill up on river for a higher boat. As Coggy would say, 'FML'.
I realise this is just negative variance but it is nice to get it off your chest, now i know what Poker blogs are for!!!

On a plus note, my little 6 month old girl is getting alot better, this new inhaler gizmo is working a treat, she no longer sounds like Darth Vader when sleeping.

Funny couple of anecdotes from work, you people live in a different world I assure you, this stuff is not made up!

1. Shoplifter arrested and brought infront of me(regular, drug addict, first name terms, you get the picture). Arrested for theft of 20 bars of chocolate. He bangs his fist on the Custody desk and says, 'Thats bollocks, it was only ten, they were buy one get one free'. He was not joking.

2. Pissed up bloke phones Police to say he has been robbed. Police arrive for him to shout, 'Its a fucking robbery, I have been charged £45 for these', and holds out 2 ecstasy tablets! True I tell you, Britains dumbest criminal take a bow.

Anyways, gotta go.

Hope you all run good at the tables.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Monthly Review

Greetings my fellow fishes.
As this is basically a Poker Diary for my own benefit, so I can track my progress, I will endeavour to complete a monthly review. So here goes for November.

Rake back was $140, cleared $100 bonus at FT and also played 2x 45s, came 2nd in one for a $90 profit so overall profit for November was $915 ish, not bad for 50nl if I say so my self!!
I think my game is coming on well at the moment, good advice from people on the Forum helping my decision making process at the tables. Also, I have a couple of sweat sessions with Burnley Mik which I have really enjoyed and helped my game no end. It is amazing what information you can pick up and how much you concentrate when someone is sweating you. Perhaps this is because you don't want to look a complete fish lol.
I have also really enjoyed sweating Mik, picking spots for him and explaining my thought process, my favourite hand* was when Mik picked up JJ, not sure if he 3bet the fish or the fish flat called out of the blinds, but anyways the board came KKxxx with no draws making it and on the river the fish blasted 80bb, after check calling the flop and turn, no way on earth did he have a K so I 'forced' Mik to call, fish flipped A8s or summat so ship the pot to BM, weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Away from Poker, managed to give the Missus a couple of nights of pleasure, I was the usual high standard. Not sure if she enjoyed herself but I don't really care, I did.

Had to rush the 6 month old into Hospital last night, transpires she has a viral infection of the lungs called Bronchiolitis, which causes problems breathing. I went as the Missus was knackered from staying up with her the night before. The staff were brilliant at the Hospital, they offered me a room to stop the night but they said it wasn't necessary to stay, I was out of there like a flash. I hate hospitals, full of ill people. There is no medication to treat the condition, just plenty of love and cuddles and it will go in a week or so.Good luck at the cyberfelt you Fish


*Probably didn't happen like this as i was pissed, but Mik won the pot anyway :)

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Life backwards

Found this by Woody Allen, made me laugh. I always thought he had a very good sense of humour. Just for KnightmareNick, he was an American Comedian who was a touch eccentric.

Not too much to post about Poker, hitting the tables hard but don't seem to be making much progress, variance I suppose. End of month stats soon :)

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Sweaty Betty

As this is predominantly a Poker blog I better start posting some Poker updates, but not before I just recount the details of a phone call I made to a local fast food outlet earlier on today. I was ordering some munch for myself and a colleague, who wanted a hamburger and chips, to be delivered to the Station.
I hasten to add I do not normally eat takeaways, despite my physique, but today was an exception as I not eaten a morsel all day and I am working from 2pm through until 7am. Trust me, you cannot make this shit up!!
Details of phone call:-
Turkish Bloke-'Hello ****** take way, can I help you?'
Snake-'Yes mate, can I place an order to be delivered please?'
TB-'Of course mate, what would you like?'
Snake-'A chicken tikka wrap please with chili and mint yogurt sauce (for me, healthy option)'
TB-'No problem, anything else?'
Snake-'Yes mate, a hamburger and chips please'
TB-'Sorry we do not do hamburgers'
Snake-'Err, in the menu it states you do cheeseburgers, can you just do one of these and not put the cheese on?'
TB-'Those are beefburgers, not hamburgers, I will have to ask the cook'
Snake-'Is this a wind up?'
I was pissing myself laughing, un-fucking-believable!!
Poker wise, I have been running reasonably well atm but I am fully aware that variance is lurking just around the corner. I have completed 7.5k hands on FT at 50nl, running at 8BB/100hands for a current profit of $600. I feel pretty good about my game atm, making good decisions, and I feel that alot of this can be attributed to advice I have received from Clarkatroid and Gorvacofin, 2 very good cash game players that post on RaiseTheRiver.
I also have had a couple of sweat sessions with my old mate BurnleyMik where I have played 4 tables on FT. We have utilised teamviwer, where Mik can log onto my session and view my tables and also used Skype, so we can discuss the hands as they are played. You would be amazed at how this makes you concentrate and how it helps your game, I recommend this to any serious cash player. It also helps to run like Usain Bolt when you are being watched, eh Mik :)
Played the $55 80k on Stars as part of a syndicate on RTR Friday night, card dead for nearly 2 hours, blinds are 75/150, I have got 16 BBs. I open raise to from UTG+1 with AQs, 2 callers, flop comes AAT, BB checks, I lead for 600 into 1200ish, one fold, BB jams 23BBs and I insta call, he flips AT and its gg me. At the time I thought I was just unlucky but I think this demonstrates I am not very good at Tournies, as perhaps a decent player could get away from this, what do you think?
Also played 2 x 11 buck 45s on FT whilst playing the 80k, final tabled both finishing 8th in one and 2nd in the other for $112.50, so a good night in the end, $250 profit :)
Anyways, I am boring myself now so I am going, quick mention to my pal KnightmareNick, or Gonickgo as he is known on FT, lol what a ghey screen name, try harder fish :)

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Hi Fish,

This is a quick post describing how I came about playing Poker. Basically I used to play Rugby at semi-pro level (blatant brag) but as I advanced in years, it took longer and longer to get out of bed on a Sunday morning, my mind was writing checks my body couldn't cash, ultimately meaning I had to retire from playing competitively. Nowadays I play social Rugby and enjoy a few beers with the lads post match, mind, I always did this bit lol.

Rugby has been very good to me, I was lucky enough to be reasonably gifted at the game, which in turn has meant I have travelled to play Rugby, seen some amazing sites around the world and made some friendships that I will retain for life, all through a game you play with an egg shaped ball.

Thus, I needed something to occupy my time with, this is where Poker came in. Basically 4 years ago a close friend and I both opened accounts at WilliamHill. I knew fook all about the game (still don't) and used to play occasionally after a few beers at the pub. I would deposit £100 and play at 50p/100p table, obviously busting but having enjoyed myself. There was the odd occasion I would make a profit but these days were few and far between.

I stopped playing when my first daughter was born as she developed a few issues at birth, but thankfully everything is fine now. Two years ago I got back into Poker as my mate had continued playing and has developed into a decent social Tournament player, both online and live. I decided to research the game, read a few books, discovered various things like Bankroll Management (still have issues with this lol), Rake back and Poker Blogs. I even managed to win a few low buy in tournies on WH :)

Believe it or not, I searched the Internet and found this ghey blog, which I sadly read from the very beginning. I suppose the only good thing to come out of reading this drivel is that I came across Raise The River. Great place, great people, if you are not signed up, get on over.

I am currently playing 6max cash on FTP as, although I enjoy tournies, they are just too time consuming with family and a full time job. On that point, I've got to get off now as I am at work and some silly twat has decided to get pissed up and get arrested so I've got some work to do, sigh, inconsiderate cock.

Laters and good luck at the tables fishes :)

*Edit, I've just read over this post and its boring as fook lol

Monday, 16 November 2009

Debut post

Welcome Fish to my blog. I was going to do an 'about me and poker' post but I cannot do that today, it will have to wait.

The reason is that I played Rugby on Saturday and injured my cruciate ligaments in my right knee, so I have got to go to hospital. I have taken a picture of the injury, which can be found here. Just look at the swelling!!!


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